Communication & Your Audience’s Perceptions
Crossing the parking lot to church last Sunday my husband asked if I wanted to enter via the front, or the back of the church. As we approached the side door, I said the front and kept walking. He stopped and said “ohhkay” and shrugged his shoulders. Giving him a quizzical look, I realized his “front” meant the inside “front,” as in the alter area, which we can enter through a side door located IN THE BACK. Versus my front meant the true front of the church, facing the street, which is entering the main room from the back.
Confusing? It’s a lack of understanding your audience’s point of view. It happens quite a bit and if I were a psychologist I would assume its why most couples argue.
I was laughing on my way into church because I realized how we each had our own ideas of what we meant. We were completely off-base with the other person. (And we each thought we were perfectly right.)
Maybe we should all communicate the way Jazz musicians do...
No wonder communication is difficult. Not only are you trying to string together thoughts that make sense, but you also have to consider your audience’s comprehension of your thoughts and their preconceived perceptions.
Hundreds of PR and marketing books are out there on this subject, but my real-life example brings to light how much I need consider my audience. When writing press releases for Sportsman Channel, I write at an eight-grade level. I attempt a little SEO action, and I make sure our point is clear.
But is it really clear? I’ve written sentences that make perfect sense to me only to have a co-worker tell me three days later that they interpreted it differently. After re-reading the sentence five times, I finally got it.
Comma usage is a big culprit – as pointed out in the book “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” by Lynne Truss. The misuse of commas can completely change the meaning of a sentence. But I think the real issue is being concise in your writing and stop being so lazy! I tend to write lengthy sentences that could probably be shortened by deleting words or making two sentences. Like that sentence. The words “tend” and “probably” are adding nothing to the meaning of the sentence.
Fast forward on that same Sunday to the evening. Hubby and I were sitting on the couch watching a TV clip of a pee-wee football game. I asked hubby “Is that a little football?” Meaning, is that football the pee-wee is carrying a smaller version of the NFL football? He interpreted “a little football” as in the size of the football team itself, not specifically the size of the ball, and told me it was a dumb question. I was offended and said no questions were dumb and so forth until we realized we were talking about two different things. Again.
Man, we were not jiving on Sunday.
But it was my delivery of the message that was not jiving. I should been more specific (and not lazy) and asked “Is the football they are carrying smaller than the NFL version?” That’s to the point and concise.
As for the church thing, pointing and sign language probably would have yielded better results than actual talking.
This is (the reason) why I rarely publish a post on the same day I write it. I usually let it sit and stew for a few days and go back and re-read it. It (almost) gives me a perspective of reading it for the first time. Many times I have interpreted my own words differently than when I first wrote it and have to rework the sentences.
I don’t think that adjectives like “tend” and “probably” are bad things in sentences because it gives a different perception than without them. “Tending” to do something is different than always doing it, which is what the sentence would imply without the word “tend.” That said, it’s still easy to write lengthy, run-on sentences. I do it often.
I used to not re-read anything I write. I think I didn’t like my own writing. But I got over that a long time ago and have found countless ambiguities, grammatical errors, and typos. In fact, I think I’ve re-read this comment three times and made several changes along the way.
Re-reading what you write, whatever it is, is good practice before committing it to the world. I also re-read all my emails before clicking “send” and that has saved me more than once.
(BTW, Michelle. I hesitate to point this out, but you have two typos in your post that probably would have been caught upon a re-read.)
Great insight Michelle. I think you have potential to be a PR and marketing psychology consultant. It’s half the game.
Thanks Sue! I love the psychology behind ideas and actions and often wondered if I shouldn’t have taken those courses in college.
Thanks for helping me edit! Yes, I write WAY too fast and read even faster. And even when I edit, re-edit and re-edit again – I still miss things! I need to learn to SLOW down – both in my verbal speech and in my writing.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tammy Sapp and Michelle Scheuermann, Sue Melus. Sue Melus said: RT @TammyDianeSapp: An enlightening post regarding She said, He heard: http://t.co/dOoMsHB via @ladysportsman […]